What I have learned this past week from the #YesAllWomen movement is that men and women mostly suck. Most women don’t want to listen to the actual statistics. Like how women hit men more often than men hit women or that if you count prison rape that the amount of male victims are at least equal to if not surpasses female rape victims. It’s usually just about how women are always victimized by all men and how we live in a rape culture where rape is condoned, tolerated and normalized by our society. I disagree we live in a rape culture. People have irrational fears of lots of things. Muslims, spiders, snakes, airplanes, heights, water. There’s probably more people afraid of spiders than there are rape victims but we don’t say we live in an Arachnophobic Culture. Arguing about whether it is or isn’t a rape culture is irrelevant though. It should just be acknowledged by all that there is a problem so what are the best ways we can work on it? Men mostly do the same things. A lot of men deny sexism, deny male privilege, deny misogyny and try to say misandry is more prevalent and women have it good nowadays and men are horribly oppressed. Mostly all just garbage opinions from garbage men oblivious that men control 80% of the worlds political and financial power. It’s just all one big pissing contest where everyone wants to be heard but no one really wants to listen to what the other one side has to say. It’s like a stubborn sibling rivalry fighting over a toy. It’s mine! No it’s Mine! No it’s mine! No its Mine! No listen you little shits, I bought it so it isn’t either of yours. The bottom line is that both men and women face issues of violence against them and both men and women have some privileges that the other gender does not. Women face more sexual violence. Men face more violence. There’s a shitload of victims overlapping into each category from both genders. There is a chance of violence happening to every man or woman every day whether they walk alone at night or don’t go out at all. Every man. Every woman. Every day. That’s it. The end. There is no debate. That is the reality of our world.
#YesAllWomen has been good and bad and downright ugly. The good is obvious. Thousands of women telling their stories and being heard and raising awareness. I think some people are going to start organizing in person to do something proactive and work on actual issues instead of having it end at a hashtag on Twitter. I wish women would raise more awareness for other women as well but any awareness is a positive. Obviously the hashtag has been powerful, helpful and positive for many people. I have gained slight positivity from it myself in finding people who share my same ideas that instead of pointing fingers about who did what to who and who gets abused more, let’s acknowledge there’s problems and work on solutions. Those are the people I want to be talking to.
The bad you have to look a little deeper for but it’s definitely there. Like women being validated for things like “I just got catcalled! Some man yelled out “You go girl” when he saw me carrying a folding table to my car by myself” That is what some women call misogyny and people support it and like it and retweet it and also call it sexism and misogyny. Kind of ridiculous and going overboard in my opinion and when I disagree that it’s sexism and misogyny I get called a sexist misogynist.
Then there’s some women claiming they received rape threats and their idea of a rape threat is some psycho troll using a hashtag #RapeAllWomen but never directly speaking to them. In some women’s minds just him using the hashtag in general means they got rape threats. By that logic I have received death threats just because #KillAllMen is a hashtag. These are just baseless accusations with no merit that hundreds of people are agreeing with. I find it pretty silly but I am usually outnumbered in that thought as women tell me to fuck off for being a chauvinist pig and supporting rapists by not agreeing with them that these were catcalls or rape threats.
As a man, all you have to do is go to #YesAllWomen and disagree politely about what catcalling actually is and you get called a sexist misogynist murder rapist and told to fuck off. “fuck off you piece of shit woman hating dirtbag”.
Another womans post was “#YesAllWomen because when I am out with guy friends people assume I am fucking one of them” so I said “Yea I hate that when I go to a movie or dinner with a female friend they always ask me for the money or hand me the check”. And she said “how is that bad” and my reply was,” they not only assume I am fucking her but they assume it’s my job to pay for her”. She didn’t like that and for some reason told me to “fuck off and practice your misogyny elsewhere”. I thought it was a really bizarre response.
Other women will talk about being called lesbians if they say no to sex with a man and when I say a woman called me gay because I wouldn’t sleep with her on the first date it is assumed I am lying because since #YesAllMen are being prejudged as sexist rapists then how could a perverted rapist misogynist sexist man who does nothing but think with his penis ever refuse sex from any woman. Amirite? Truly baffling replies from a gender that says they wish for equality.
Women can simultaneously be feminist and be misogynist. Women will call for equality and talk about rape culture and the oppression of women and then turn around and start using feminine insults on men like calling them whiny bitches or little girls and so on. Which just reinforces the whole notion that being female is inferior to being male. Women will also fat shame, slut shame and body shame other women and when I point out that it’s not just the men who do this I get told “I am not going to blame women for following in the footsteps of their patriarchal oppressors”. That’s some mighty convenient apologizing. I get told I need to take responsibility for my actions and how I treat people. You know, personal accountability. It’s ok for women though because I guess monkey see monkey do is a thing we can all accept. Which kinda sounds like the old “boys will be boys” excuse feminists are decrying but I digress.
After spending a lot of time in all these different hashtags this past week i’m pretty convinced that at least 50%(and thats being conservative) of these new age feminists are just angry young women who had a bad break up so all guys suck, or had a guy stare at their boobs when they were popping out of their clothes so all guys are pervs. So on and so forth. Just as long as the man is guilty of some wrongdoing with zero context then according to some of these new age feminists it is definitely sexist misogynist female oppression. Same thing goes for the men using #YesAllMen or #NotAllMen. A lot of it is just dudes mad that some girl said no so now they’re all bitches and hoes. Really mature stuff from both genders.
The false equivalencies, propaganda and bad info being passed around by these new age feminists is on par with what the Bush administration put out there to get us into a war on terror. The irrational fear of all Muslims because of the actions of a few is called xenophobic and racist. Well unless you’re a right wing extremist then it’s called rational to hate anything that is outside your bubble. The irrational fear of all men because of the actions of a few is Androphobia and misandry.
Stuff like the below post is what I am talking about when I say propaganda which many “feminists” pass around.
“”not all men are rapists” play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded #YesAllWomen”
You can use that on anything.
“Not all white people are racist”…but play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded
“Not all Muslims are terrorists”…but play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded
“Not all blacks are lazy welfare recipients”…but play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded
“Not all airplanes crash”….but play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded.
“Not all sharks will eat you…but play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded.
There’s also a lovely propaganda piece about M&M’s and how only 10% of them are poisoned, not all are poisoned, now go ahead and eat an M&M. Well ok. I’ll just grab a new bag that you didn’t poison and be fine. k thanks.
There’s several analogies floating around like the ones above and they all have heavy backing from feminists with hundreds of retweets and likes on all of them and they are literally the dumbest analogies ever. They are all false equivalencies and utter rubbish.
Some women I have met on there are very intelligent and rational about the problems with both genders and are looking for solutions. However, all too many just seem to be in a contest to say they are the most victimized minority in society and they just want to tell you how horrible you are if you disagree with them at all. Overall it has been a negative experience and makes me not want to be nice to women I may meet while out. Something I started out supporting has over the course of this past week just gained my ire. Obviously I will always support equality but I wouldn’t want to say hi to a woman in public and have the cops called on me for rape. The male bashing has been that bad. It’s just reinforced even more how horrible some feminists and their ideas are. Not all of them but enough to make me never want to label myself a feminist even though by definition I would actually be one.
The absolute ugly ugly ugly beast out of all this are the obvious insane trolls and Men’s Rights Activists who could actually be doing something positive and working with women on issues both genders face but instead the majority of them just go around telling women they are stupid cunts/bitches/whores/whatever for complaining. They sometimes sound a lot like Elliot Rodgers and they are by far some of the most misguided individuals on the planet who at times can be downright scary people that men and women should distance themselves from or even call the police on. Unfortunately that’s not ugliest thing.
The ugliest thing is being told by some feminists that you are no better than Elliot Rogers because you have rational opinions and valid arguments on gender issues and for writing blogs like this.