Archive for men and women

#YesAllWomen and #YesAllMen The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on June 1, 2014 by angrymrbungle

What I have learned this past week from the #YesAllWomen movement is that men and women mostly suck. Most women don’t want to listen to the actual statistics. Like how women hit men more often than men hit women or that if you count prison rape that the amount of male victims are at least equal to if not surpasses female rape victims. It’s usually just about how women are always victimized by all men and how we live in a rape culture where rape is condoned, tolerated and normalized by our society. I disagree we live in a rape culture. People have irrational fears of lots of things. Muslims, spiders, snakes, airplanes, heights, water. There’s probably more people afraid of spiders than there are rape victims but we don’t say we live in an Arachnophobic Culture. Arguing about whether it is or isn’t a rape culture is irrelevant though. It should just be acknowledged by all that there is a problem so what are the best ways we can work on it? Men mostly do the same things. A lot of men deny sexism, deny male privilege, deny misogyny and try to say misandry is more prevalent and women have it good nowadays and men are horribly oppressed. Mostly all just garbage opinions from garbage men oblivious that men control 80% of the worlds political and financial power. It’s just all one big pissing contest where everyone wants to be heard but no one really wants to listen to what the other one side has to say. It’s like a stubborn sibling rivalry fighting over a toy. It’s mine! No it’s Mine! No it’s mine! No its Mine! No listen you little shits, I bought it so it isn’t either of yours. The bottom line is that both men and women face issues of violence against them and both men and women have some privileges that the other gender does not. Women face more sexual violence. Men face more violence. There’s a shitload of victims overlapping into each category from both genders. There is a chance of violence happening to every man or woman every day whether they walk alone at night or don’t go out at all. Every man. Every woman. Every day. That’s it. The end. There is no debate. That is the reality of our world.

#YesAllWomen has been good and bad and downright ugly. The good is obvious. Thousands of women telling their stories and being heard and raising awareness. I think some people are going to start organizing in person to do something proactive and work on actual issues instead of having it end at a hashtag on Twitter. I wish women would raise more awareness for other women as well but any awareness is a positive. Obviously the hashtag has been powerful, helpful and positive for many people. I have gained slight positivity from it myself in finding people who share my same ideas that instead of pointing fingers about who did what to who and who gets abused more, let’s acknowledge there’s problems and work on solutions. Those are the people I want to be talking to.

The bad you have to look a little deeper for but it’s definitely there. Like women being validated for things like “I just got catcalled! Some man yelled out “You go girl” when he saw me carrying a folding table to my car by myself” That is what some women call misogyny and people support it and like it and retweet it and also call it sexism and misogyny. Kind of ridiculous and going overboard in my opinion and when I disagree that it’s sexism and misogyny I get called a sexist misogynist.

Then there’s some women claiming they received rape threats and their idea of a rape threat is some psycho troll using a hashtag #RapeAllWomen but never directly speaking to them. In some women’s minds just him using the hashtag in general means they got rape threats. By that logic I have received death threats just because #KillAllMen is a hashtag. These are just baseless accusations with no merit that hundreds of people are agreeing with. I find it pretty silly but I am usually outnumbered in that thought as women tell me to fuck off for being a chauvinist pig and supporting rapists by not agreeing with them that these were catcalls or rape threats.

Women can go to #YesAllMen or #NotAllmen and say the most brutally vicious insults to anyone they want to and it is called cute. People laugh and enjoy it.

As a man, all you have to do is go to #YesAllWomen and disagree politely about what catcalling actually is and you get called a sexist misogynist murder rapist and told to fuck off. “fuck off you piece of shit woman hating dirtbag”.

Another womans post was “#YesAllWomen because when I am out with guy friends people assume I am fucking one of them” so I said “Yea I hate that when I go to a movie or dinner with a female friend they always ask me for the money or hand me the check”. And she said “how is that bad” and my reply was,” they not only assume I am fucking her but they assume it’s my job to pay for her”. She didn’t like that and for some reason told me to “fuck off and practice your misogyny elsewhere”. I thought it was a really bizarre response.

Other women will talk about being called lesbians if they say no to sex with a man and when I say a woman called me gay because I wouldn’t sleep with her on the first date it is assumed I am lying because since #YesAllMen are being prejudged as sexist rapists then how could a perverted rapist misogynist sexist man who does nothing but think with his penis ever refuse sex from any woman. Amirite? Truly baffling replies from a gender that says they wish for equality.

Women can simultaneously be feminist and be misogynist. Women will call for equality and talk about rape culture and the oppression of women and then turn around and start using feminine insults on men like calling them whiny bitches or little girls and so on. Which just reinforces the whole notion that being female is inferior to being male. Women will also fat shame, slut shame and body shame other women and when I point out that it’s not just the men who do this I get told “I am not going to blame women for following in the footsteps of their patriarchal oppressors”. That’s some mighty convenient apologizing. I get told I need to take responsibility for my actions and how I treat people. You know, personal accountability. It’s ok for women though because I guess monkey see monkey do is a thing we can all accept. Which kinda sounds like the old “boys will be boys” excuse feminists are decrying but I digress.

After spending a lot of time in all these different hashtags this past week i’m pretty convinced that at least 50%(and thats being conservative) of these new age feminists are just angry young women who had a bad break up so all guys suck, or had a guy stare at their boobs when they were popping out of their clothes so all guys are pervs. So on and so forth. Just as long as the man is guilty of some wrongdoing with zero context then according to some of these new age feminists it is definitely sexist misogynist female oppression. Same thing goes for the men using #YesAllMen or #NotAllMen. A lot of it is just dudes mad that some girl said no so now they’re all bitches and hoes. Really mature stuff from both genders.

The false equivalencies, propaganda and bad info being passed around by these new age feminists is on par with what the Bush administration put out there to get us into a war on terror. The irrational fear of all Muslims because of the actions of a few is called xenophobic and racist. Well unless you’re a right wing extremist then it’s called rational to hate anything that is outside your bubble. The irrational fear of all men because of the actions of a few is Androphobia and misandry.

Stuff like the below post is what I am talking about when I say propaganda which many “feminists” pass around.

“”not all men are rapists” play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded #YesAllWomen”

You can use that on anything.

“Not all white people are racist”…but play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded

“Not all Muslims are terrorists”…but play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded

“Not all blacks are lazy welfare recipients”…but play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded

“Not all airplanes crash”….but play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded.

“Not all sharks will eat you…but play a game of Russian roulette, not all the guns chambers are loaded.

There’s also a lovely propaganda piece about M&M’s and how only 10% of them are poisoned, not all are poisoned, now go ahead and eat an M&M. Well ok. I’ll just grab a new bag that you didn’t poison and be fine. k thanks.

There’s several analogies floating around like the ones above and they all have heavy backing from feminists with hundreds of retweets and likes on all of them and they are literally the dumbest analogies ever. They are all false equivalencies and utter rubbish.

Some women I have met on there are very intelligent and rational about the problems with both genders and are looking for solutions. However, all too many just seem to be in a contest to say they are the most victimized minority in society and they just want to tell you how horrible you are if you disagree with them at all. Overall it has been a negative experience and makes me not want to be nice to women I may meet while out. Something I started out supporting has over the course of this past week just gained my ire. Obviously I will always support equality but I wouldn’t want to say hi to a woman in public and have the cops called on me for rape. The male bashing has been that bad. It’s just reinforced even more how horrible some feminists and their ideas are. Not all of them but enough to make me never want to label myself a feminist even though by definition I would actually be one.

The absolute ugly ugly ugly beast out of all this are the obvious insane trolls and Men’s Rights Activists who could actually be doing something positive and working with women on issues both genders face but instead the majority of them just go around telling women they are stupid cunts/bitches/whores/whatever for complaining. They sometimes sound a lot like Elliot Rodgers and they are by far some of the most misguided individuals on the planet who at times can be downright scary people that men and women should distance themselves from or even call the police on. Unfortunately that’s not ugliest thing.

The ugliest thing is being told by some feminists that you are no better than Elliot Rogers because you have rational opinions and valid arguments on gender issues and for writing blogs like this.


#YesAllWomen are victims #YesAllMen are disposable heroes

Posted in Politics, School & Education, Sex & Dating with tags , , , , , , , on May 27, 2014 by angrymrbungle

I support ‪#‎YesAllWomen‬. I’ve been Tweeting in support of it for a good 2-3 days now. However some of the stuff being talked about goes both ways and I think there’s a lot of people who just don’t know that.

This was a tweet a woman sent out and it is a legit problem for women: “Because I’m asked “What are you a lesbian?” When I say “No.” #YesAllWomen”

But that’s also happened to me. I was into this girl big time and I didn’t want to sleep with her too soon to make sure it was more than just about sex so because I didn’t sleep with her on the first date she told me I must be gay. As if me, a man, could ever resist the sexual advances of a beautiful woman. I must be a big time faggot.

There is also something to be said about men being expendable and women being protected. Even women who say they want equal rights will scoff at the idea of protecting a man from harm. “A real man wouldn’t need a woman to protect them”, “What are you a pussy having a woman fight your battles”. Are you really a feminist if you want equal rights but aren’t willing to take a bullet for a man but it’s expected that a man should take a bullet for a woman at all costs? That doesn’t sound like equality to me. It just sounds like men are supposed to be disposable heroes.

There’s a huge problem with the gender roles and it’s hardwired into our brains at birth. Whether people like it or not sexism is taught to everyone the moment they take their first breath and reinforced throughout your life by your surroundings. Most parents will treat their baby girl and baby boy completely different. They are pushed into their roles of femininity and masculinity and the expectations of females are lowered to that of men. It starts with parents who expect their daughters to be weaker than men and gets reinforced in school with different requirements for physical testing. It’s expected that a girl will take Home Ec and the boys will take shop. If a guy takes home ec he must be a fag and if a girl takes shop she must be a dyke. It might be a little different now in 2014, or it could even be worse but that’s how I remember it growing up in the 70’s and 80’s.

Gender roles are inherently sexist because they dictate what you can and can’t do based on what is between your legs and other than the act of giving birth I don’t see why there should be gender roles at all. Gender roles impose limits on both men and women and automatically cast men into a protector/perpetrator role and women into the needs protection/victim role. That’s wrong but that’s what this culture perpetuates and propagates. We’re all guilty of it.

We say things are changing because women do in fact have more freedoms and power in todays world but I can’t help but think it looks like women have even less respect because of it. We see all these high powered females in the media who are now lawyers, judges, politicians, police officers, fire(wo)men and so on. Women are everywhere now, in every industry, doing the jobs that used to only be for men. That’s great. Yet we still have beauty pageants, porn stars and reality TV shows where women are paraded around and judged only on their looks and are usually fighting over men. And women love it just as much as men. It isn’t just men who are tuning in to Real Housewives(or whatever) to watch super dumb women fight about super dumb shit. I’d venture to say that shows like that are kept alive by their majority demographic of female viewers. Men aren’t the only ones consuming porn. Where I usually differ on my opinion with other people is that I don’t see those things as inherently bad. I don’t see porn actresses, models, prostitutes, or whatever as setting women back. It’s the preconceptions of those people and imposed individual morals that are setting not just women back but setting all of us back. If a woman wants to be a porn star, a housewife or a scientist why the hell should anyone care if it isn’t harming you. Get down with your bad self with whatever you want to do in life.

That’s when it gets interesting to me though because it’s also women that are buying into it, entering beauty pageants, being sex workers and 100% reinforcing it but then women will only denounce men as terrible people objectifying women and that only men are trying to make laws that govern female reproduction and try to control their bodies. I’m pretty sure no one can slut shame a woman like another woman can. It’s just assumed that it’s men though and that women have each others backs but that is far from the case. Take at look at these lovely ladies:

Congresswoman Candace Miller has always fought to protect the unborn.  In June 2013, she presided over part of the debate over H.R. 1797, the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act.  She has publicly supported and co-sponsored many bills in the House including the Partial Birth Abortion Ban, the Child Custody Protection Act, the Weldon-Stupak Human Cloning Prohibition Act, the Unborn Victims of Violence Act, the RU-486 Suspension and Review Act and the Unborn Child Pain Awareness Act.

Ann Wagner represents Missouri’s 2nd Congressional District.  Since being elected in 2012, Congresswoman Wagner has been a tireless pro-life voice in the House of Representatives.  Wagner is a longtime pro-life leader in Missouri and the first woman ever to serve as Chairwoman of the Missouri Republican Party.

That’s just two women out of several that are working very hard to deny women their reproductive rights. Obviously some men are fighting against women’s right too but I would love it if everyone stopped blaming men only and started blaming the real culprits, people of both genders. Here’s a list of several more women in power fighting against womens rights:

So as I read and support the terrible stories that the #YesAllWomen movement is bringing to light I can’t help but get mad at the same time because half of them have it all wrong. That’s not diminishing the stories. Those are important and need to be heard but if peoples activism ends at the hashtag and no one truly examines the issues in depth then no one learns anything and we have all lost and just go right back where we were.  I also get mad knowing that when I am walking down the street and a woman is walking towards me from the other way and I look at her with my head held high and smiling and friendly and warm as I usually am and she is looking straight to the ground with a blank expression that I am being pre-judged and labeled as something I’m not, a perpetrator, an attacker, a rapist. Men are simultaneously expected to be the hero and the villain. This is why it’s important that women learn to protect themselves. Not all men know how to fight. I don’t anyway. I’ve been in like 2 fights my whole life. Yet it is expected for men to fight better than women. Women say they shouldn’t have to learn how to defend themselves and that men should be taught to not hurt women or be taught to respect women. I agree with half of that. Men should be taught those things for sure(all people should be really). Women should also be taught that they can stand up for themselves. Not learning to defend yourself may as well be saying you expect a man to do it for you. We live in a world where crime will always be happening and crime is not always about rape or violence on women. Sometimes crime is just crime and people want something you have. Like money.

I remember the Daniel Defense pro gun ad that was news earlier this year. All men and women talked about were gun issues but no one seemed to care about how it depicted the genders. Men as protectors and women as helpless. They show a man talking about protecting his wife and child with guns. Because you know, he’s a man. That’s what men do. Protect women and children because they’re weak. Women are being taught they’re weak. Men are being taught women are weak. It’s so second nature to most men and women that they don’t even see the cultural sexism through gender roles punching them in the face in their everyday life. That commercial is a perfect example of what culture is teaching men and women all across the world.

Women do need to learn to defend themselves. I am not saying with guns but with anything. Take a self defense class. Learn to fight. The person breaking into your home doesn’t have to be a rapist. They could just be there to steal your shit and you have two choices. Hope someone is there to protect you or learn how to protect yourself. It’s no different for me or anyone. We either learn how to protect ourselves as men and women or we hope someone else is there who can. Personally I’d rather not count on anyone else for anything. But I know I can count on myself.

All in all, sexism and gender roles are interesting to say the least but I think we need to stop looking at ways to fix men or fix women and start looking at ways to change what is being culturally taught to humanity as a whole with how gender roles are. It ain’t good and that ladies and gentlemen, breaks my heart. It’s all very heartbreaking and I’ve only scratched the surface of the depth and scope of cultural sexism, feminism, misogyny and misandry. I didn’t even mention inherently sexist religious patriarchies which do nothing but teach people women are inferior and weak. It teaches both men and women that women are weak and then those men and women turn around and teach other men and women that women are weak. Are you seeing the problem yet? It isn’t just men. It’s all of us. You and me and him and her. There’s no question, we all need to be better. Not just men. Not just women. Men and women, together.